||[Mar. 24th, 2005|10:24 pm]
Hehee! I'm new, and I love this community. Here's a bunch of really immature but fun stuff to do.
Ten things to do at a shopping center
10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.
8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".
3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
2. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."
Twenty things to do at a drive-thru
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies.
6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ording just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Leave a big 4 litre bottle of ketchup on your dashboard. When asked if you would like ketchup with your meal, laugh sadistically for a few seconds, then adopt a serious expression and gesture to the bottle on your dashboard.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. Drive up to the window. Then, without saying anything, produce a tape-measure. Measure all aspects of the window, make a note of the measurements in a notebook, then drive off.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come out, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "No." Then wind up your window and just sit there staring straight ahead.
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Order 10 large milkshakes. When they arrive, get out of your car, open the bonnet and pour 9 of the milkshakes into the oil filler. Place the remaining milkshake onto the pavement, and stare solemnly at it for three or four minutes with your head bowed. Then drive off. Circle the block for 1 minute, then drive back and do it again.
15. When asked to pay for your order produce a huge bucket of pennies. Attempt to hand the heap of change to the cashier, but 'accidentally' drop it all over the pavement. Spend 10-15 minutes picking it all up, then when you have collected it all, pay by credit card.
16. Attempt to barter for your food. Offer CDs, Cassettes or anything else you have in your car (including friends and family members).
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.
Random things to do on an elevator
CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask
"Got enough air in there?"
STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall
without getting off.
WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open
GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call
STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror:
"You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
SAY -DING at each floor.
SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button,
STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce:
"I have new socks on."
WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your
TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers: "This is my personal space."
WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on
the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and
go back for more.
ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the
HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After
a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day
DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up,
then scream: "That's mine!"
BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures
and exits with the Passengers.
SWAT at flies that don't exist.
CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.